Pitanga Papers

 Hello, web friend (this is a common brazilian joke, not sure if there's an english substitute), how are you doing? Hope you are well and if you're not, I am wishing you all the best vibes of recovery and happiness, things will get better!  Anyway, recovery and positivity is a great thing and maybe I'll turn it into a blog topic one day, but this day is not today. Today I'd like to share my greatest problem yet, so get ready, grab a water bottle, maybe a snack, find a comfortable position and come with me. (woo, dramatic, aren't we?)  I'm an overdoer (I know this is just as made up as the Klingon language, but stick with me). I am an overachiever and a horrible project manager. Basically, I want to do so much stuff at the same time, that all of my random projects and ideas get mixed up in my head and on several incomplete notebooks, so I get nothing done and end up covered by the shame of "wasting" days in a row. We are in march now and I still hav...

Today there will be no text published here. I've been thinking about the path I want this blog to follow and the quality of the posts here and I haven't come to a decision yet, so I'll keep being lazy and way too pampered by my grandparents and my aunt until I decide what to do. Until then, have a nice day and some pitangas for your tears.

Hey, pal! How was your day? Mine was nice, I cut my finger with my new crochet needle, but I pet a dog on the bus stop, so overall a great day. Anyway, here's day 4, enjoy. DAY 04 - Your current relationship status: "LMAO". That could be the whole text, but I guess it wouldn't be as fun as sharing my sorry ass stories here, so yeah, I'm single. Been single for 18 years (also known as the amount of years I have been existing in this mad ass planet) and probably will stay that way unless some form of miracle happens by the end of this year lol. It's kinda funny, because I spent so much time trying to find someone I feel like the universe is screaming for me to stop. I used to be a pretty tough kid, the kind that plays "Bully" once and feels completely ready to become a full-on agressions master. A tiny, skinny and ponytail wearer nerd sure sounds like an easy target, but I was on the basketball team and got no shit from others. I wasn't nice,...

Well, hello unknown wanderer! How are you? I'm actually quite excited since I just played the craziest set of paladins' games with my friend, Igor (who also has a blog, it's https://saturnocares.blogspot.com.br/?m=1). Anyway, this is not a gaming blog...yet, so let's go on with the challenge. Day 03 - 10 likes and dislikes Likes: 1 - Making playlists with friends and hearing them talk about whatever they have in their minds (be it a sad/worried thought that we can discuss or a cliche and amazingly cute confession of their love for someone - bonus points when that someone is also the sweetest friend I know, but you didn't hear it from me!  *wink 2- Learning new concepts and finally understanding old problems 3- Plants and botanics 4- Analytical Geometry 5- Sewing and knitting 6 - Cleaning up with loud cheesy music on (Whitney Houston, I'm talking about you) 7 - Hugs from loved ones (my grandparents, my mom, my brothers and my friends mostly) 8...

Yesterday I went to a friends gathering. I was so excited I put a lot of makeup and put on a shinny black skirt and a smile on my lips, I was ready for the world. But when I got there and people started to come I started to feel uneasy, lost in my phone while others talked and laughed around. I am not good in parties, but that's mostly because I feel like I'm two seconds away from being a joke and there's something acutely frightening about that. It's funny because I like everybody that was there, I had my friends and nice acquaintances all around the place, they were happy and I was undoubtedly safe, but when I got home I felt so drained one could think I was in a personal war zone. But, only when I went to the city center today to buy some sewing materials and I forgot most of my money and it rained and I didn't have my umbrella with me, I realised I was worrying so much about fitting in I didn't spare some time to be present or maybe just as present as I was ...

Hello, fellow human or unknown specimen. How are you? I'm fine, though tired and relating bit to the beginning part of Best Friend by Rex Orange County : "I should have stayed at home 'cause right now I see all these people That love me but I still feel alone Can't help but check my phone" But I'll talk about that when I am much less sleepy. Anyway, here's today's prompt. Talk about your life in 10 years or something like that. Day 02 Ten years from now I'll be 28 and I feel so blank about this statement I'm a bit scared. I don't really fear the immediate future, but I fear failing in the present, so I guess it counts too. When I'm 28 I hope I have an apartment that I bought with my own money, I hope I have a cat and I feel less alone when I'm with people rather than only feeling that with animals. I hope I no longer feel to big and too dirty in the world, so inadequate when close to others. I hope I am dating or marrie...

 Well, today was a regular day, no big emotions or confusions, so I guess it's the perfect time to write something meaningless and go on with the promise I made. Anyway, here it is, 20 random facts about me (a faceless internet persona), have fun! DAY 01 - 20 Random Facts About Myself 1. I listen to Lofi Hip Hop whilst writing. I used to listen to classical music, but the intensity of it usually made me pay more attention to the music than to what I was doing, so I stopped doing it. Though, I mostly study in silence. 2. My hair is so dark people tend to ask me if it is dyed, but it's just always been this black. (which is also something that connects me and my grandpa) 03. One of my favorite hobbies is grocery shopping. Especially when I get to do it on sunday mornings. 04. I am a chemical engineering student who lives by the constant fear of not being good enough to get this degree. 05. I like to keep mental lists of favorite things, like movies to watch when hope...

"Do you ever realize how absurd you are? A scrambled and flesh-full mess of organs and limbs and wonderfully messed up proportions? I am too big for my body, but the wind eats my air and I'm excruciatingly small. I was spat up into the dryness and suffocating wetness of a bittersweet world. I am alone. The grounds are everlasting, tho I am still. I am a piece of dirt in the way of the wise, tho I am not complete. I am nothing and everything. I am the kid that sleeps and creates life, but I'm stuck at my own life. I am inside my bones, but they are not me. What is me? Am I tears that no longer fall? Am I the sadness I no longer fell? No, I'm not the emptiness that eats me up as the wind that makes me small. I am not seen, but I exist. That is the reason I am here, to construct the one that is me. I am no infinity, but infinity is within the limit that is in me." - L (2018 - march)

 Hello stranger, how are you doing?  I am fine and hoping this weirdly vague greeting didn't scare you away yet. This blog is not exactly meant to be read by that many people, actually, maybe it will only be me talking to myself on the internet like normal people do on Twitter, but, since I am prone to rambles and unstoppable word vomits, I've decided to do all that here where there's no actual link to my very real being, actually not that real since nobody is truly honest/real when talking about themselves, but that is another matter that really doesn't have a place in this poor attempt at an introduction.  Well, after all this mess I might as well go with it and showcase my internet pseudo being.   I am L. Not the anime one, though I have fantasied about being a renowned detective that has an arch nemesis...not a very charming fantasy, but it has its perks, you see. I am also a 18 year old girl from a country far far away named Brazil. Last week I've done/seen...